ox cafe's cochinita pibil torta

 ox cafe, 19th & south van ness, san francisco

Ox Cafe is a new family owned/operated hole-in-the-wall coffee shop at 19th & South Van Ness (if you've been to Bender's in the last few months you've likely noticed this popped up across the street).  This location means that Ox Cafe is now the closest coffee shop to my house, and since I am a supremely lazy person (hello first blog update in 2 1/2 months!), I was very hopeful that I would have a new place to go when I don't want to travel more than two blocks to get food.  The menu seemed interesting: in addition to standard ham+cheese style sandwiches, there were a few very intriguing tortas on their sandwich board.  Since I'd run out of coffee at home and wanted to spend the morning (read: afternoon) lazing around my apartment playing New Super Mario Brothers on the ol' Wii (thanks Nicole!), I figured today was the day I'd pop over to Ox Cafe, grab some coffee and a sandwich, and get back home with a minimum of human interaction.  I decided to start at the top of their menu and picked the Cochinita Pibil torta, a sandwich made with slow-roasted pork made in the Yucutan style.  I think.  I didn't write down any info from their menu, so I'm going by memory (or what "sounds about right").  At any rate the pork was cooked in banana leaves or something and had a bunch of spices.  Also on the sandwich were pickled onions, and that's it.  And honestly, with the exception of perhaps some avocado, this sandwich really didn't need anything else.  It was delicate, flavorful, unique, and very satisfying.  Even the side salad, despite its sparsity of ingredients, was tasty when submerged in the surprisingly vinegary dressing.  The coffee was (as I had anticipated) bitter and burned and terrible, but I wasn't expecting Blue Bottle or anything.  Maybe next time I'll try a Mayan Mocha instead of their regular coffee, because I definitely see myself returning to try the rest of their tortas in the future. 

pork torta from kitchenette

kitchenette, illinois & 20th, san francisco

Here's Kitchenette's version of a carnitas torta- I have to admit that I ate this one a few weeks ago, and my recollection of it is somewhat hazy.  But that's not to say that the sandwich wasn't noteworthy- the pork was tender and delicious, and it was served with cabbage slaw, jalapenos and dried chile salsa.  It was a really spicy sandwich!  I definitely have yet to be let down by anything from Kitchenette.  I might quibble that a torta without beans isn't really a torta, but I'm not the sandwich police so whatever.  Today's Kitchenette menu looks pretty fantastic, so expect a new (and more specifically recalled) Kitchenette review soon!

fried plantain sandwich

This was a really good sandwich. Fried plantains, sitting on a homemade spread made of black beans and roasted poblano and yellow gypsy peppers, topped with vegan crema with fake bacon bits. Warm, rich, creamy.

veggie torta el primo

tortas el primo, folsom and 21st, san francisco

This veggie torta had lettuce, onions, tomato, guacamole and pickled jalapeño on a nice big soft roll. Normally it comes with queso fresco and mayo, which may have made this sandwich a little tastier (if you eat that stuff), but are by no means necessary, because this was a really nice torta without them. They grill the sandwich after constructing it, enough to warm the bread and crisp up the crust a little bit, but it's not grilled through like a panini. The ingredients were fresh and crisp, and the mellow, cool flavor of the bread and veggies was pleasantly interrupted now and then by nice big pieces of jalapeño. This sandwich was like summer on a bun.

They didn't seem to have a whole lot of other vegan-friendly options, but their menu is pretty big for the meat eaters. I never made it to their second location on 22nd, which recently closed, but their original location on Folsom and 21st is a nice big airy space, with a giant-sized plasma tv and giant-sized mexican sodas.

los picudos, oh yes

tortas los picudos, 24th & alabama, san francisco

There's not a whole lot I remember about this place in the Mission
except that this sandwich was freakin amazing
and my biggest regret was that I couldn't eat both halves in one sitting.
No problem, I had the second half later that night.

What's in it? I can't recall, although
it looks like breaded chicken or turkey,
that crazy good crumbly mexican cheese
red onion, avocado, jalapeno, tomatoes perhaps?
Who cares! Just look at that thing
and vast in it's holy scrumptious-ness.

torta ahogada

tortas los picudos, 24th & alabama, san francisco

after I ate at La Torta Gorda the other week, the consensus in the comments seemed to be that Los Picudos should be my next torta stop, and so JoJoJoJo and I swung by a few days later. one commenter, Subframe, mentioned that Los Picudos had tortas in "el estilo de DF" (in the style of Mexico City), and I assume that referred to this sandwich- the torta ahogada, which I have previously only encountered in DF. a torta ahogada ("drowned sandwich") is just that- a sandwich covered in a somewhat sweet tomato sauce. the meat inside was carnitas, in this case cooked on the crispier side, rather than moister as some carnitas are. it was pretty messy- I think when I was in Mexico we just went for it with our hands, but this time I decided to make use of the knife and fork provided. the bread pretty quickly soaked up the sauce, and soon I had a mushy pile of bread, carnitas, and an absurd amount of red onions. I could have done with considerably fewer onions, but on the whole this was good torta. and I've never seen this type of sandwich served anywhere else, so Los Picudos seems to be the place to get one.

carnitas torta

la torta gorda, 24th & york, san francisco

the night before eating this sandwich, I had a dream that I met some friends for dinner at a restaurant. I had arrived late, and everyone else had already ordered. I ordered a cheeseburger and fries, and although my friend's food came, mine never did. I tried to flag down waiters, but to no avail. and I woke up knowing that my mission for that day was to get that cheeseburger that had been denied me. well, the waking world proved just as cruel to me as my dream world. after weighing my options (Big Mouth Burgers? nah. Jay's Cheesesteak? no. Whiz Burger? nnnno.) I walked all the way to St Francis, only to discover that they had closed at three because of their "winter hours". fie on that! I don't even eat before three on most days. well, not all was lost, because I had heard good things about La Torta Gorda, practically next door to St Francis. they even had a counter to eat at, which was something I had been looking forward to. I decided to try the carnitas, which is almost always a sure bet in taquerias (chicken can be too dry, carne asada too fatty, but carnitas.... mmmmm). the tortas were available in "junior" and "regular" sizes, so I opted for the regular. I don't regret the decision, but man it was a lot of food! as you can see, they really piled the meat high on this one. some other taquerias, like Farolito or Can Cun tend to use a lot of beans on their tortas, but here, it was a relatively thin spread of refried beans. I didn't mind though, because the carnitas tasted so good that the occasional bursts of beans, or avocado, or jalapeños were welcome but not necessary. also, the red salsa pictured was pretty strange- much sweeter than most salsa. it almost tasted like ketchup with chili flakes in it. I decided to use it sparingly, as it had such an unusual taste that the sandwich was a completely different experience depending on whether the sauce was used or not.

la cubana

WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT

la piñata tortas y jugos, 21st and mission, san francisco

although right around the corner from where i live, i'd never actually ventured into this shop. and so today, after a long walk, i decided to grab a torta for dinner. "try the cubana" my friend dan advised me, unaware of the deadly potential of this sandwich. so i did. despite the fact i wasn't really all that hungry, and am trying to lose weight and save money... i ordered the sandwich described as "the mother of all tortas - a little of everything". i was not prepared.
this sandwich is a monster. this sandwich is the kind of thing you hear about hicks making at county fairs, when you think "who in their right mind could possibly eat something like that". this sandwich, if served in a chain restaurant, would prompt an outraged study about the caloric content and what that says about the health of the nation. when this sandwich arrived, it stared deep into my soul and asked me what kind of man i was. i had no answer.
THIS SANDWICH HAS A FRIED EGG ON IT. it also has "two cheeses, huevo milanes de res (egg breaded steak), grilled chicken, ham, a FREAKING HOT DOG, chorizo, and queso de puerco (head cheese. HEAD CHEESE)" in addition to the regular sandwich toppings like veggies and jalapeños. i am pretty sure this thing was served on a loaf of bread. it was larger than the hispanic children eating at a nearby table. the second half of it is sitting in my fridge, and i'm pretty sure i can hear it whispering to me in a forgotten tongue.
as far as the taste goes... what can i say? what do you expect an insane pile of meat on a loaf of bread to taste like? but i can say that the aftermath of this sandwich was intense feelings of guilt and spiritual anguish, as though i had offended the very laws of the universe by consuming this sandwich. i considered deleting this blog so that i would never have to admit to anyone that i ate this thing. for gods sake, save yourselves.