twin peaks sandwiches

 

JERRY

Brother Ben, this is the best damn sandwich I ever ate, it's a baguette, with brie and butter, I had four of these damn things every day I was there. You gotta try this. (hands a sandwich to BEN) Here, go ahead, eat it, go ahead, go ahead.

Very interested, BENJAMIN takes the sandwich and draws his nose over it to smell it deeply.

BENJAMIN

Oh, yeah.

BENJAMIN really likes the smell of the sandwich. Grabbing the long ends of the sandwich, he takes a large bite out of it. With his mouth full he hums in ecstasy. JERRY unwraps himself one and sits nearby at the fireplace. JERRY'S mouth is soon full from a bite of his sandwich and is laughing at BEN'S reaction.

BENJAMIN

(with his mouth full) Uhm, this is incredible, Jerr.

(text taken from here)

Hmm, butter and brie?  That sounds PRETTY good but I dunno if I trust it to be the BEST DAMN sandwich.  I think Special Agent Dale Cooper should keep an eye on this Jerry fellow.  His taste in sandwiches is suspect.  And whats up with the way Benjamin chomps into that sandwich?  Very unorthodox.... and suspicious.

PS NO SPOILERS PLZ I'M ONLY ON EPISODE 4 DON'T TELL ME IF A SANDWICH KILLED LAURA PALMER

selleck! waterfall! sandwich!!!

selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr (from boing boing)

FASCINATING

PS - why does bxb not have a THEME SONG??

hey there sexy bird

oralia's, 3rd & 22nd, san francisco

Yes, I did call this sandwich sexy.


Oralia's is this fairly recent deli around my place of work in the Dog Patch. I don't go too often because I have to admit I didn't really enjoy the first sandwich I got there. But, I think it was Monday, there were slim pickens in my kitchen and I created this bare bones sandwich that I was not excited to eat when lunch rolled around. And for reasons that I don't need to get into, I chose to try Oralia's again.

I walked in with low blood sugar, looked at the menu and grimaced. I thought to myself, "well hells bells... I guess I'll go with turkey, it's hard to fudge a turkey sandwich." Sos, I ordered roasted turkey on rye with cheddar and all the fixens minus the pickles - we've been over this before, but I'll repeat, I don't like pickles. My bill came to be $8.20 and like the menu I had previously been looking at, I again grimaced and thought, "awfully steep for a plain ol' turkey sandwich..."

But then, oh but then, a big hunk of plump juicy roasted turkey was pulled from a big ol' warmer and thick slices of meat were cut off for my sandwich.

I got back to my desk, sat down, unwrapped my sandwich from the confines of it's parchment paper and took a big bite. I had never tasted such freshness in what I normally considered a safe basic. And the meat! Oh the meat... I have never had such moist turkey, it seemed like it had been soaking in a bath of real broth - not canned or boxed, but fresh.

After my sandwich seduction, I will never second guess Oralia's when my brown bag lunch seems unexciting.

(this is not a review of) Els' eggplant sandwich

Newest bxb contributor Els isn't just a sandwich reviewer, she's also a pretty killer sandwich maker.  And yesterday, she pointed out that I haven't ever reviewed any of the sandwiches she's made for me.  "I guess I'll just have to keep making you sandwiches until you post about one!" she said.
...
SO... this is NOT a review of today's lunch, an amazing sandwich with eggplant and fire-roasted peppers with Cowgirl Creamery Mt Tam cheese, and carmelized red onions and black olive in a homemade [updated: carmelized balsamic] vinaigrette, and spicy dijon mustard that gave it a little extra bite.  I am not reviewing the fresh french roll that was so crunchy it could barely contain the eggplant, nor am I going to compare the bites that had extra Cowgirl Creamery cheese to "beams of light shining through the clouds" (I wouldn't say that even if this WAS a review, because man is that goofy).  If this were a review, I would say that it was a fantastic lunch... but this isn't a review.  SORRY ELS- I guess maybe I'll just have to post about one of your sandwiches another time.

pal's veggie of the day (on january fifteenth)

 pal's takeaway, 24th and hampshire, san francisco

 Friday's veggie sandwich at Pal's Takeaway wasn't too fancy- broccoli, hard-boiled egg, cucumber and gruyere cheese on two slices of poppy seed-wheat bread.  Yet perhaps due in part to the sandwiches simplicity, it was very flavorful and fulfilling.  Each ingredient stood out, and the sharp, fresh flavors worked well together.  My favorite part of the sandwich was the subtle flavor of the poppy seeds, which added some sweetness to the otherwise somewhat sour sandwich.  The sausage sandwich was greasy and decadent, and this sandwich was a perfect counterbalance- healthy, light and refreshing.

lao sausage from pal's takeaway

 

pal's takeaway, 24th and hampshire, san francisco

"Fuck Leno...me and the staff ain't goin nowhere without our Pal's sandwiches!"

-Conan O'Brien, on today's Pal's menu

After multiple failed attempts to get a sandwich from these gourmet-liquor-store-sandwich innovators, today was the day I finally managed to stop by during Pal's limited hours of operation (M-F, 11-2:30 PM).  The Friday menu consisted of a thai chili-marinated chicken sandwich, a Lao sausage sandwich, and the veggie sandwich of the day (more on this one tomorrow!).  Since I came for two sandwiches, and had already decided that one was going to be the veggie, it was either the chicken or the sausage.  But what was the Lao sausage?  Chicken?  Pork?  I asked the dude behind the counter, and he explained all about how his Laotian neighbors made this homemade pork sausages with rendered fat and.... and.... I was spacing out.  But now that he had gone through the effort of telling me all about the sausage, it would be rude to then not order it, so sausage sandwich it was!  Fortunately, this turned out to be a great decision.  The sausage itself was black-peppery, greasy and crumbly; reminiscent of breakfast sausage, but not dry and crappy like Jimmy Dean or whatever.  It was salty and very, very spicy.  Balancing out the sandwich was a kimchi mayo (which I think was also spicy, as well as very creamy) and a cucumber-cilantro relish which cut the saltiness and spiciness somewhat (but not too much!) and added a little crispness.  The bread was a delicious crusty sour roll, and given the greasy sausage and creamy mayo, I'm frankly amazed at how well the sandwich held together!  I also picked up some of the "Full Belly Farm yellow creamer potato salad", because I'm a sucker for potato salad and can't say no to trying a new type.  This also turned out to be a great decision- the potatoes were cut in generous chunks, mixed with hard-boiled egg, edemame and celery in a Dijon-mustard vinaigrette.  It was an excellent take on the old deli standby.  Even Els liked it, and she claims to not like potato salad (yeah right)!  I can't believe I didn't try Pal's sooner, and if this sandwich was any indication of their typical quality, I'll be back soon.

piccolo pete's - one final note

piccolo pete's, bayshore blvd & tunnel ave, san francisco

If you want a salami & crab salad sandwich, and are bold/drunk enough to order one- Piccolo Pete's will make this for you.  There's some kinda cheese on this, but I can't recall what it was- jack?  Let's say jack.

Piccolo Pete's Pickled Reuben

Walking into Piccolo Pete's was seemed like stepping into a picnic lover's armory. They seemed to have everything one could ever want for an indulgent day of eating stocked from floor to ceiling in every corner. There was no shortage in what they had to offer. A basket of bread towered on the deli counter, their deviled eggs consisted of three egg halves cupping an ice cream scoop of egg salad - even though I split one with AW, I was unable to even eat half - a long counter shelved multiple crock pots of soups, a wall was dedicated to the most well organized chip selection, and I can't even begin to talk about the drink selections (alcoholic and non).

I went wall-eyed, froze and chose the most basic sandwich I could think of, a Reuben. I should have been prepared for the what I got, after all, all signs pointed to over-the-top indulgence. The tang of the sauerkraut could not be enough, a layer of pickles had to be added for a bigger taste-y sourness. Or at least this is what I can assume, I would be remiss in my journalistic duty if I failed to admit I do not eat pickles and shortly after taking photographic evidence of my sandwich I passed them along to AW.

Once cleansed of pickles, my Reuben was ready to be devoured. Unfortunately, looking back, I believe the pickles were the key ingredient which set this Reuben apart from others, because in the end it was just a regular Reuben. This isn't to say that I would sway sandwich goers away from Piccolo Pete's. To the contrary, I think meat eating sandwich lovers need to experience this place for themselves! Set aside a day, because afterward one will want to revel in his or her bloated belly food-coma, grab a Cactus Cooler or broski and enjoy the meal in Piccolo Pete's cozy back patio.

intrigue! suspense! adventure! SANDWICHES (the thrilling conclusion)

When last we left, your intrepid hero (and his equally intrepid companion Els) were about to get into a car with a strange man named Kiya, who was taking us to an undisclosed location in Hunter's Point.  What followed was one of the most punishing, physically exhausting fights of my life, one that tested every one of my limits and left me on death's door.  A battle in which I was forced to admit defeat, despite my most valiant efforts.

It was a battle against a giant-ass sandwich.

Kiya, naturally, turned out to be a really cool guy.  Actually, I knew before going on this adventure that Kiya was the proprietor of Self Edge in the Mission, so I was pretty sure that this was not an elaborate kidnapping attempt.  It turned out that not only is Kiya an expert in denim, but he is also extremely knowledgeable about under-the-radar destinations in SF (dude was telling me about a bar that has been open continuously (like 24 hours a day) for like 30 years or something?? like they only closed once for the '89 earthquake?  what??).  He also knows his shit when it comes to sandwiches.

(resident bxb scientist JPP did the math on this dubious factoid and it came out to an average of nearly 550 sandwiches sold every day.  uh, really???)

piccolo pete's, bayshore blvd & tunnel ave, san francisco

Piccolo Pete's is a liquor store and deli out in Visitation Valley, just off the Caltrain stop and near the ball park.  But, as Kiya pointed out on our way there, this isn't like the gourmet liquor store sandwich counters that are spreading around the Mission like the flu after a Bridez show.  This place is strictly old school, offering cheap and hearty meals at a reasonable price.  And HOLY CRAP you could you could get virtually anything you wanted at this place!  They had a full deli case offering salads and beans and puddings and stuffed eggs and whatever your cholesterol-clogged heart desired.  They had sausage and lasagna and short ribs.  They had, like, six different hot soups!  Not to mention the typical offerings of a liquor store.  Oh yeah, and they had sandwiches.

This thing was a beast!  Called "The Godfather", it was Piccolo Pete's specialty sandwich.  It had basically every kind of deli meat that you could want: salami (6 slices), prosciutto (2 slices), cappicola (3 slices), and mortadella (2 slices).  The menu was VERY specific about what came with this sandwich.  It also featured provolone (2 slices), as well as all of the regular sandwich adornments (AND artichoke hearts!!).  Now, I don't usually back down from a sandwich.  I eat entire sandwiches from Mr. Pickle's with gusto and then fantasize about going back for another.  I'm reasonably sure I could take on a few sandwiches from Ike's Place in a single go.  I have stared into the face of madness and laughed (actually, that one might have taken more than one sitting)!  But oh lord, this sandwich beat me.  I tried my very best, I ate and ate and ate and yet the sandwich remained.  If you come to Piccolo Pete's, bring an appetite.  And hey THANKS AGAIN KIYA!  Everyone should go buy some nice clothes at Self Edge, and maybe you'll find about some rad SF spot you've never heard of.

From hell's heart, I stab at thee!!

intrigue! suspense! adventure! SANDWICHES

???

"Yo, email me, i have a special sandwich spot to take you to in SF. You need to review this spot, it's special."

I love a good mystery.  And, obviously, I love a good sandwich.  So when the above message was left in the comments of one of my recent entries, I couldn't resist.  Special sandwich spot???  What does this dude know that I don't??  Maybe this dude was just yanking my chain.  I had to find out!  I took the bait and responded, employing my finest investigative skills:

"Woah what special sandwich shop??? I gotta know!"

His response was, maddeningly, no more revealing than his initial comment:

"I can only take you there, i cannot tell you about it.
I can pick you up.  Thursday? Friday?
You tell me the address and then i will get you in my twelve year old
Celica or my [other car].  You pick.
And you give me address, i pick you up.  No problems.

-kiya"

I must admit that, at this point, I felt somewhat trepidatious.  I seemed to recall being told something, in my youth, about not getting into cars with strangers who promised you candy.  But then, this dude wasn't offering candy, duh!  So nuts to that rule.  Plus, I had a journalistic obligation.  Sandwiches were on the line!  I knew, deep in my heart, that there really was no question about what to do.  The meet was arranged.  The 12-year-old Celica was picked.  Friday was to be the day the mystery would be solved.

"Just to make sure, you've never had a sandwich in Hunter's Point, right?

-kiya"

There was no way this could end poorly!

Tomorrow: I reveal whether or not it ended poorly!!