la cubana

la piñata tortas y jugos, 21st and mission, san francisco
although right around the corner from where i live, i'd never actually ventured into this shop. and so today, after a long walk, i decided to grab a torta for dinner. "try the cubana" my friend dan advised me, unaware of the deadly potential of this sandwich. so i did. despite the fact i wasn't really all that hungry, and am trying to lose weight and save money... i ordered the sandwich described as "the mother of all tortas - a little of everything". i was not prepared.
this sandwich is a monster. this sandwich is the kind of thing you hear about hicks making at county fairs, when you think "who in their right mind could possibly eat something like that". this sandwich, if served in a chain restaurant, would prompt an outraged study about the caloric content and what that says about the health of the nation. when this sandwich arrived, it stared deep into my soul and asked me what kind of man i was. i had no answer.
THIS SANDWICH HAS A FRIED EGG ON IT. it also has "two cheeses, huevo milanes de res (egg breaded steak), grilled chicken, ham, a FREAKING HOT DOG, chorizo, and queso de puerco (head cheese. HEAD CHEESE)" in addition to the regular sandwich toppings like veggies and jalapeños. i am pretty sure this thing was served on a loaf of bread. it was larger than the hispanic children eating at a nearby table. the second half of it is sitting in my fridge, and i'm pretty sure i can hear it whispering to me in a forgotten tongue.
as far as the taste goes... what can i say? what do you expect an insane pile of meat on a loaf of bread to taste like? but i can say that the aftermath of this sandwich was intense feelings of guilt and spiritual anguish, as though i had offended the very laws of the universe by consuming this sandwich. i considered deleting this blog so that i would never have to admit to anyone that i ate this thing. for gods sake, save yourselves.


  1. So the question remains - where does one get a most excellent torta in the City?!

  2. thats a good question. I haven't tried too many- I used to eat a lot of them at Can Cun, but i'm pretty over that place now. I still rep for Farolito's, and La Torta Gorda on 24th was really good. but honestly, its a subject that I need to do more research on.