intrigue! suspense! adventure! SANDWICHES (the thrilling conclusion)

When last we left, your intrepid hero (and his equally intrepid companion Els) were about to get into a car with a strange man named Kiya, who was taking us to an undisclosed location in Hunter's Point.  What followed was one of the most punishing, physically exhausting fights of my life, one that tested every one of my limits and left me on death's door.  A battle in which I was forced to admit defeat, despite my most valiant efforts.

It was a battle against a giant-ass sandwich.

Kiya, naturally, turned out to be a really cool guy.  Actually, I knew before going on this adventure that Kiya was the proprietor of Self Edge in the Mission, so I was pretty sure that this was not an elaborate kidnapping attempt.  It turned out that not only is Kiya an expert in denim, but he is also extremely knowledgeable about under-the-radar destinations in SF (dude was telling me about a bar that has been open continuously (like 24 hours a day) for like 30 years or something?? like they only closed once for the '89 earthquake?  what??).  He also knows his shit when it comes to sandwiches.

(resident bxb scientist JPP did the math on this dubious factoid and it came out to an average of nearly 550 sandwiches sold every day.  uh, really???)

piccolo pete's, bayshore blvd & tunnel ave, san francisco

Piccolo Pete's is a liquor store and deli out in Visitation Valley, just off the Caltrain stop and near the ball park.  But, as Kiya pointed out on our way there, this isn't like the gourmet liquor store sandwich counters that are spreading around the Mission like the flu after a Bridez show.  This place is strictly old school, offering cheap and hearty meals at a reasonable price.  And HOLY CRAP you could you could get virtually anything you wanted at this place!  They had a full deli case offering salads and beans and puddings and stuffed eggs and whatever your cholesterol-clogged heart desired.  They had sausage and lasagna and short ribs.  They had, like, six different hot soups!  Not to mention the typical offerings of a liquor store.  Oh yeah, and they had sandwiches.

This thing was a beast!  Called "The Godfather", it was Piccolo Pete's specialty sandwich.  It had basically every kind of deli meat that you could want: salami (6 slices), prosciutto (2 slices), cappicola (3 slices), and mortadella (2 slices).  The menu was VERY specific about what came with this sandwich.  It also featured provolone (2 slices), as well as all of the regular sandwich adornments (AND artichoke hearts!!).  Now, I don't usually back down from a sandwich.  I eat entire sandwiches from Mr. Pickle's with gusto and then fantasize about going back for another.  I'm reasonably sure I could take on a few sandwiches from Ike's Place in a single go.  I have stared into the face of madness and laughed (actually, that one might have taken more than one sitting)!  But oh lord, this sandwich beat me.  I tried my very best, I ate and ate and ate and yet the sandwich remained.  If you come to Piccolo Pete's, bring an appetite.  And hey THANKS AGAIN KIYA!  Everyone should go buy some nice clothes at Self Edge, and maybe you'll find about some rad SF spot you've never heard of.

From hell's heart, I stab at thee!!