summer sandwiches: chorizo verde at bunk bar in portland

 

1028 SE Water Ave, Portland Oregon

http://bunkbar.com/

"chorizo verde with roasted corn, tomatoes, avocado, queso, salsa rojo"

Usually when Portland comes up in conversation, the consensus around these parts generally seems to be "yeah Portland is pretty sweet, you just have to be able to put up with the rainy/miserable weather".  Well I was lucky enough to be able to pay a visit to Portland last weekend, my first in a number of years, and it was hot and sunny there- unlike this foggy stink-town.  It's possible I caught the one sunny weekend a year that they get, but that's still more sun than I've seen here!  Not only was the weather perfect, and not only did I experience the beauty of not having to pay sales tax, but I discovered (with pure, unmitigated joy) that bars in Portland are legally obligated to serve food- an obligation that many bars take up with enthusiasm.  Bunk Bar is a good example of this (although they cheat a little bit by actually being connected to a sandwich shop).  On the recommendation of my old friend and PDX resident Kendall, I made Bunk Bar my first stop after arriving in town and getting settled at my friend Mike's place in the SE part of town.  Bunk Bar turned out to be quite close to where I was staying, located in what seemed to be a formerly industrial part of town but now appeared to be full of restaurants and wine bars.  Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about any of this, Portlanders- I was only in your town for three days and didn't really get too deep an understanding of the town during my short visit.  Anyway, Bunk Bar seemed like a pretty cool spot, open and sunny and with high ceilings.  They had a bunch of great beers on tap (another thing I loved about Portland- tons of local pale ales!), a pinball machine (I want to say... Sopranos?), some cool shows coming up, and rad sandwiches.  Kendall had recommended the Cubano, but unfortunately they weren't serving it the day I came in (the menu, or parts of it, changes daily).  I opted for the chorizo verde sandwich, which I had envisioned as being a sort of Mexican sloppy joe style torta.  To my surprise, the chorizo was actually a firm, grey patty, served on a roll with cheese and avocado and salsa.  The sandwich was drier than I had expected, but that's not to say it was very dry, just that I had expected it to be, well, sloppy.  It was midly spicy and I definitely enjoyed eating it, although $9 seemed slightly steep for a sandwich that was on the smaller side.  That won't stop me from returning to Bunk Bar to get the Cubano next time I'm in town, though.  Not a bad place to start my Portland trip!

la cubana

WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT

la piñata tortas y jugos, 21st and mission, san francisco

although right around the corner from where i live, i'd never actually ventured into this shop. and so today, after a long walk, i decided to grab a torta for dinner. "try the cubana" my friend dan advised me, unaware of the deadly potential of this sandwich. so i did. despite the fact i wasn't really all that hungry, and am trying to lose weight and save money... i ordered the sandwich described as "the mother of all tortas - a little of everything". i was not prepared.
this sandwich is a monster. this sandwich is the kind of thing you hear about hicks making at county fairs, when you think "who in their right mind could possibly eat something like that". this sandwich, if served in a chain restaurant, would prompt an outraged study about the caloric content and what that says about the health of the nation. when this sandwich arrived, it stared deep into my soul and asked me what kind of man i was. i had no answer.
THIS SANDWICH HAS A FRIED EGG ON IT. it also has "two cheeses, huevo milanes de res (egg breaded steak), grilled chicken, ham, a FREAKING HOT DOG, chorizo, and queso de puerco (head cheese. HEAD CHEESE)" in addition to the regular sandwich toppings like veggies and jalapeños. i am pretty sure this thing was served on a loaf of bread. it was larger than the hispanic children eating at a nearby table. the second half of it is sitting in my fridge, and i'm pretty sure i can hear it whispering to me in a forgotten tongue.
as far as the taste goes... what can i say? what do you expect an insane pile of meat on a loaf of bread to taste like? but i can say that the aftermath of this sandwich was intense feelings of guilt and spiritual anguish, as though i had offended the very laws of the universe by consuming this sandwich. i considered deleting this blog so that i would never have to admit to anyone that i ate this thing. for gods sake, save yourselves.